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Pastor Jay's Blog

A Memorable Way to Deal with the Fire of Pornography

 

 

 

Pornography is an epidemic and we had better get really good at addressing it and helping people kill this dragon.  To that end I want to give you what I think is a tremendous way to think about a framework of help.  This memorable method will help you tackle the problem immediately.  This memory device revolves around fire.  Let me explain.

The Three Parts of Fire and Pornography

You must to have three elements to have fire: sufficient heat, fuel, and oxygen.  If you remove any one of those three items you have put out the fire.  This is what makes water an effective fire killer.  It takes away oxygen (momentarily) and it takes away the heat.  A blanket works, but not well, because it only deals with oxygen removal and that very poorly.  If you want to burn a field, mowing a swath around that field makes a fire break because all the fuel (the grass) has been removed.  You get the idea. 

When it comes to pornography you also must have three things: sufficient desire, time, and availability.  If you remove any one of those three items you have eliminated pornography use.  Do you know why people are not looking at pornography when they are bucking bales of hay on some Kansas field?  Because they don’t have time to look at it, and they probably don’t have any availability out in the remote areas.  People don’t look at pornography in their living room when the whole family is there with them because they have no desire (one of the three components) to be found looking at such things by their family. 

The Key Element

In both of these situations, fire and pornography, there is one feature in their tri-part cause that stands above the rest.  In each, one item is the primary cause.  With fire, the crucial item is heat.  Oxygen and fuel are clearly not the primary issue, because they are just about everywhere on dry land.  The real issue is heat, and specifically intense heat.  Heat itself isn’t a problem.  Because of our wonderful sun, our whole planet has heat.  Even the polar caps are not as cold as they could be thanks to the sun.  But when something causes heat in a certain point to grow and grow, a fire is going to start.  It is inevitable with all the oxygen and fuel around us.  This is why we keep fire extinguishers in every building.  We know that if something gets too hot, a fire is going to happen. 

When it comes to pornography the important issue is desire.  Time and availability are clearly not the primary issue, because they have always been around.  In the history of humans, there has always been sexual allurements.  There have always been prostitutes, there has always been immodestly dressed women, and there has always been people who will display nakedness in art of some kind.  Our modern situation has only increased this.  Our technologically advanced era has given us more time and more availability to indulge in sexual sin.  Most people do not work sun-up to sun-down anymore and then crash into bed.  They have time for other things.  Additionally, the internet and its connectivity to ubiquitous devices in every pocket has made pornography both free and instantly accessible.  And just like heat, sexual desire is not the problem per se.  Just like the wonderful sun that gives heat to the whole planet, God made sex and put sexual desire into everyone.  Sex and sexual desire aren’t wrong any more than heat is wrong.  Where would we be without the glory and needfulness of fires in fireplaces, and where would we be without the glory and needfulness of the marriage bed? The problem is when this desire grows outside of it boundaries.  And because there is such an excess of time and availability, if there is any hint of sexual desire creeping outside its boundaries, then pornography usage is inevitable. 

Understanding the place of the fire extinguisher 

I have never used a fire extinguisher.  I hope I never have to because fire extinguishers are for emergencies.  We have them in kitchens because grease fires can happen; but if you ever have to use an extinguisher you know that a degree of damage has already been done.  Fire extinguishers are for emergency purposes only.  What you really want to do is make sure that the source of the problem is dealt with.  Something is causing an unbounded and unregulated heat.  You must deal with that.  The radical steps of removing fuel and removing oxygen is only done until you get the heat under control. 

The same is true with pornography.  People think that accountability groups, computer filters and getting rid of TVs are the solution.  That is like saying fire extinguishers are the solution to fires.  They are not the solution.  They are the emergency measures that give you time to find and implement the real solution.  The primary issue is the heart desires.  A person must get to the root of why their desire is flaring up outside of God’s boundaries.  They have to understand their self-worship, their selfishness, their love of pleasure, their lack of love for neighbors, their low view of God and sin, and their perverted view of marriage and sex. 

A person may need to use the emergency measures for a while.  They may need to remove all access to the internet for a while.  They may need to make sure that all their time is spent in certain ways and not in other ways.  They may need to make sure that they are in regular contact with people they can be accountable to, especially during times of temptation.  All of that is wise.  But all of that is only temporary.  Just like our world is full of oxygen and fuel, so our world is also filled with time and availability.  You cannot avoid it all forever.  This is why the heart that produces either evil desires or good desires must be the focus.  If a person is not dealing with the heart issues, then it is only a matter of time before time and availability meet up with an uncontrolled desire.  If heart desires have not been shaped by truth and brought under the Spirit’s control, you never know what may get burnt to ash before the fire is put out.  Wild fires burn notoriously fast.  Download speeds are fast as well. 

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