A Surprising Mark of Godly Love

Are you a loving person? Your answer can help you determine your level of spiritual maturity. Christians are to be known by our love (John 13:35), and only those who love abide in the light (1 John 2:10). The attributes of biblical love listed in 1 Corinthians 13 are helpful. However, love is like an ocean with various currents constantly moving the waters. Some currents are strong and massive and everyone recognizes them; others are deep and unseen. They are the mark of people who have grown deep in Godly love.

Such was the apostle Paul. This godly man loved the unlovable (the Corinthians), wept for his enemies (Phil 3:18), and was even willing to be cast into hell to save others (Rom. 9:3). If there was ever a man to teach us about godly love, Paul was the one.

With that in mind, there is one curious mark of love that shows up in Paul’s life. It revolves around the topic of personal refreshment. What does personal refreshment have to do with love? A couple of Paul’s statements that pair them together will illustrate.

Paul was a man like you and me. He grew weary as everyone does. He needed people to build him up, to serve him, to graciously pour life-giving energy into him. This is what the people of God do for one another. We are the instruments through which God gives strength and resources and encouragement and a host of other graces. See how Paul is thankful for this:

Romans 15:32 (NASB95) — 32 so that I may come to you in joy by the will of God and find refreshing rest in your company.

1 Corinthians 16:18 (NASB95) — 18 For they have refreshed my spirit and yours. Therefore acknowledge such men.

2 Timothy 1:16 (NASB95) — 16 The Lord grant mercy to the house of Onesiphorus, for he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains;

However, in addition to the more normal refreshing that Paul experienced, there was another avenue by which his heart was refreshed.

2 Corinthians 7:13 (NASB95) — 13 For this reason we have been comforted. And besides our comfort, we rejoiced even much more for the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all.

Philemon 7 (NASB95) — 7 For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother.

Philemon 17, 20 — 17 If then you regard me a partner, accept him as you would me…20 Yes, brother, let me benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ.

Do you see what is happening? Paul’s heart is being refreshed as he sees another person served and encouraged. It is one thing to be happy for someone else. It is another thing to be personally built up and refreshed by seeing another served and encouraged.

Let’s distinguish this from the “inspirational moment.” There are those viral videos of some flash mob doing something for someone, or a community giving a house to family, or even a whole city making a dream come true by letting a boy be bat kid for a day. Those are inspirational moments that “restore faith in humanity.” That is not what we are talking about. We don’t have faith in humanity. Humanity is fallen, and anywhere we see something good, it is a residual mark of the image of God and a work of common grace. Those are “feel good” moments, but they have little to do with biblical love.

Paul was refreshed when he saw the gospel in action on a horizontal level. It was nothing large or sensational. These were normal people, but God was doing a reconciling work in the Corinthian church and in a slave with his master. So not only was the gospel doing its work, but Paul had such a deep love for these people that he was being vicariously blessed in them. Why? This is one of the highest marks of love. God’s love is such that it overflows into the good of others. God is the ultimate giver and creation exists because God’s love spilled out of the Trinity into making many happy. God delights in our delight. He loves it when we are thrilled by His majesty experienced in creation. This is a part of what is happening in Paul. His love for others is so profound that their joy and comfort and refreshing boomerang back to Paul. His delight in their delight is such that he himself was refreshed.

So how do you know if your love is godly? One mark will be by how you rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep (Rom. 12:15). When your joy in other’s joy is such that you are refreshed in a profound way, then you are on the right track.