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Pastor Jay's Blog

Faithfulness and Family Reunions

 

In just a couple weeks, many of us will be loading up our vehicles for the trip to be with family, where we will load up the dinner plate with holiday meals. Sadly, many will also begin to feel their heart load up with fear, anger, or anxiety as they think about spending another holiday with family members who are less than a joy to be around.

That means now is the time to prepare. Now is the time to pray. Now is the time to fix our mind on what is godly, eternal, wise, and filled with love for our neighbor. Don’t stumble into those gatherings one more time just hoping the right words and attitudes spill out of you. It won’t happen. What you say is the overflow of your heart. What spills out of you will only be what is already inside of you. If there is any lingering anger or fear or unforgiveness or whatever unresolved from years past, then guess what will come out again this year.

And let’s be clear about another thing; silence is not always the best option. Yes, you are to be slow to speak. Yes, there are times not to comment. Yes, you have to be selective in what you will address. But, silence is sometimes cowardice. The pasted smile can be unfaithfulness. Avoiding the issue can be avoiding what needs to be said.

So how do you prepare?

You prepare by not being conformed to this world, but being transformed by the renewing of your mind. (Rom. 12:2) Let’s go to Ephesians and do that very thing. Ephesians 4:22 says that you are to lay aside the old self which is being corrupted by the lusts of deceit. Those lusts can manifest themselves at your family reunion. Your lust for comfort can deceive you into thinking that if you just don’t talk about the elephant in the room, then it will just go away. Your lust for respect will drive you to avoid being mocked. Your lust for rest will move you to reject the difficult work of biblical explanations. But, by the Spirit of God, those lusts do not control you any longer. Because you have laid aside the old self (Col. 3:9) you can now actively lay aside the corruptions your old man was enslaved to. Now, you are someone completely different.

Col 3:10 says you have put on the new self, made in the image of Christ. Therefore, Ephesians 4:24 says that you can actively put on that newness in all that you do. What is one of those ways? Ephesians 4:29 says that you can speak that which is good for edification.

So that is your calling. You need to speak truth in such a way that you also love boldly, walk wisely, pursue peace, be light in darkness, and show patience and forbearance. You have all the resources you need to do that.

That is why you need to prepare. You need to fill your mind with what scripture says about your status as a child of God, the resources you have in Christ, the source of your love for unlovely people, the biblical reasons why love will say hard things, and the ways to forebear in the face of irrationality. You will have to work those truths into your heart first so that they spill out during the times with your family in both planned and unplanned ways.

Maybe you have had the hard conversations in the past and this year you can hold your tongue and see what happens. But, being faithful doesn’t mean you get a pass with family. Just because they’re family doesn’t mean they get the edited form of truth. It doesn’t mean that sin is no longer sin. You have to love them like you are called to love everyone. And love means that where there is an opportunity, you need to do what is best for them. Doing what is best usually doesn’t mean unloading your 5 biblical reasons something is sin during thanksgiving meal. But it will mean you find the time and place for edification; to have the difficult conversation, if necessary. Could that mean they refuse to be around you at Christmas? Possibly. But you have been faithful and you have loved them rightly.

So load up on faithfulness this holiday season. Load up the hearts around you with truthful affirmations. You may also need to load up those same hearts with life-giving truth that is difficult to talk about. In this way you can truly be filled with thanksgiving that God became a man in order to redeem you and make you a vessel of blessing and grace.

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