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Pastor Jay's Blog

Getting Your Love Recalibrated

 

We frequently need to be reminded what real love is all about. The world, with its countless “love” songs, rom-coms, romance novels, and various made-for-TV relationships, does not help us in this regard. In fact, it deceives us and turns us in the wrong direction. “We know love by this, that He laid down his life for us” is what the Scripture tells us in 1 John 3:16. Scripture is the only reliable place to get recalibrated. Without regular adjustment we soon get off track and in the weeds of our own selfish revisions of love.

Let’s turn to 1 Peter for a recalibration. 1 Peter 4:8 says “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.” In one quick verse, we see that the normal conceptions of love are actually an inside-out version of what love is. The world puts the cart before the horse; the tail is wagging the dog.

Look closely at this verse. Fervent love is something that is commanded, and its presence is the controlling and decisive feature when sin is present in a relationship. These two realities are diametrically opposed to the world’s version of love.

So let’s set them side-by-side and see the contrast. The world will tell you that love is something that just happens. It is an evolutionary reaction that boils over in the brain. It is a mysterious chemical event that is triggered by how another person looks and lives. In contrast, God has told us that love is not first a chemical event. It is a divine reflection. Peter says that loving people is “above all.” That means this is at the upper echelon of what humans are to be. Speaking of being, remember that we are created in the image of God. We are to be like God. Therefore, God is calling us to be who we were created to be. If you are not loving the people around you, you are displaying your sinfulness. You are the walking proof of spiritual lameness. You are the pristine picture of perversion. Love is not something you fall into, it is something you do as an image-bearer of God.

For the second contrast, look at the issue of causation. The world laments the fact that people fall out of love. Why does that happen? Because people change. They are not as kind as they used to be. They aren’t considerate of your needs. They don’t stimulate you the way they once did. In fact, they may even hurt you in profound ways. Therefore, people become angry or distant or both. The change in people causes love to fade away. But that is because it is not love. It is a cheap imitation that is actually selfishness in disguise. To prove this, look at what Peter says real love does.

Peter says that we must be fervent in our love, because love covers a multitude of sins. That means when people change, when they get old, when they no longer speak encouraging words, or whisper sweet nothings in your ear; when they speak cutting words or are disloyal to you or hit you across the face; when these things happen, biblical love is the only hope for the relationship. Do you see the difference? For the world, sin destroys “love,” but for the Christian, love deals with sin. Sin causes the fake, imitation love of the world to be exposed as an imposter and fade away. But biblical love causes sins to be viewed correctly and dealt with. Real love is pursuing what is good for people, and guess what is good for sinning people: relentless, forgiving, restoring, sanctifying commitment for the sake of Christ. Real love never stops working for what is best for people.

Only Christians can do this. If you are not a new creature in Christ, indwelt by the Holy Spirit, this is impossible. You are still at the center of your own universe, and therefore you will never die to yourself like this. Jesus’ death on the cross not only demonstrated this kind of love, it also redeemed a people who would love like He loved. The cross is the ground and source of true love. He can change you by grace, and in so doing, recalibrate you to true Christ-like love.

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