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Pastor Jay's Blog

Is Spanking Vigilante Justice?

 

I have heard it time and time again. People say, “I don’t want to spank because I don’t want to teach my child to hit.” When people say this, it indicates that they have a fundamental misunderstanding about biblical corporal punishment. Therefore, I would like to use this article to define the differences between “discipline” and “hitting.”

To begin with, I think an analogy might be helpful. We all know that evils in our society can be dealt with in a right way or in a wrong way. The right way is for law enforcement agents to apprehend a person, bring them before the courts, and have appropriate punishment determined and carried out. But imagine someone said to himself, “I know what the courts would do to that person down the street involved in criminal activity. I also know the courts can’t do anything at this time. Therefore, I will enact the punishment myself.” That is called vigilante justice. A person can’t do that because they have not been given the authority to dole out punishment.

The same kind of scenario exists in the home. There is a right and wrong way to deal with the evil attitudes and behaviors that children display. The right way is the God-ordained way (see verses below). A child is caught in sinful behavior. The parent sits them down in a private setting and the teaching begins. The parent will ask about issues of the heart, bring the truth of God’s law and their sin to bear upon their conscience, explain the gospel, and when appropriate deliver a predetermined number of spankings calmly and under control. All of it is encapsulated in love. While that scenario will look very different depending upon the behavior and age of the child, the essence remains the same. The parents use their authority to first teach by way of words and then teach by way of pain. This is the right way that gets to the heart of the child, flows out of God given authority, and provides a platform for talking about the gospel.

The other option is vigilante justice. In this scenario, parents step out of their place of God-given authority and enact their own form of justice. When a child is caught in sinful behavior, what follows is some fearful mix of screaming and hitting. It is not controlled. There is no intentional teaching. There is no love expressed. The child’s heart is not addressed. Anger is given full expression. The gospel is obscured. It is abusive and every form of it is condemned by scripture.

When parents do this form of vigilante justice, they certainly are teaching their children to hit. They have done this purely by example, and a sinful example at that. When children see this time and time again, they learn this is how evils are dealt with. This kind of parenting is abusive and starts a perpetual, destructive cycle.

But godly discipline is a world away from vigilante justice. You have not taught your children to hit when you discipline them according to God’s biblical method. In this method, you have taught them about authority, about sin, about self-control, about the need for a savior. The example you have given them is an example of parents operating under God’s authority; of heartbreak over sin that is first against God; of calm and controlled physical discipline; of confident hope that Jesus is the savior for all of us sinners; and of a deep love for them motivating everything. This is glorious, and it simply won’t transfer to the playground. A child who has been disciplined like this doesn’t hit others when they are mistreated. Instead, they have learned that there is an authority in place to handle such people. They have learned that God is the one truly sinned against. They have learned that self-control must be displayed. They have learned that Jesus is the only hope for that person. They have learned that we are to love those who sin against us. They know they can’t hit, because they don’t have the authority to hit, and because God’s word tells them it is wrong to act in anger.

Can spanking be done in a way that teaches a child to hit? Yes it can. But when that happens, it is a result of parental misunderstanding about what discipline is, what its’ goals are, what must and must not accompany it, and how it is carried out.

Vigilante justice makes for good superhero movies, but it makes for abusive parents.

Biblical Passages on Discipline

Discipline is a loving responsibility after God’s example:

Pr. 3:11-12

Pr. 6:23-24

Deut. 8:5

Heb. 12:5-11

Rev. 3:19

Ps. 94:12

Corporal punishment is acceptable and even preferable aspect of discipline because of its efficiency:

Pr. 13:24

19:18

22:15

23:13

19:17

Discipline (corporal or not) should always be accompanied by instruction:

Eph. 6:4

Heb. 12:7-10

There is a difference between wrath and discipline:

Pr. 3:11-12–God’s wrath is poured out on unbelievers in anger and hatred. God’s discipline and rebuke are out of love and for correction of His people.

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